God is or refuge and strength a VERY present and well proved help in trouble" (Psalm 46:1)
This is the verse that my mom sent me on my phone at 6:30 this morning after the longest night of my life.
I have been repeating this in my head since she sent it to me doing my best to truly believe and live by this verse today.
Here's what's going on..
Sawyer has Asthma. Technically they can't officially diagnose him until the age of about 3 or 4 but every doctor, every nurse and us his parents are 99.9% sure that he has it and so far it has taken a a pretty significant toll on our lives. It started a few weeks ago and we have been in to see doctors, do breathing treatments, take steroid medications, use multiple inhalers and stay consistent with allergy medicine. Through all of this it seemed that his breathing was only getting louder and more restricted.
I took him to the pediatrician to do another breathing treatment yesterday (Friday) because I noticed that he was struggling and I wanted to get him a treatment before the weekend. We got there and our wonderful doctor came up with some new treatment plans for Sawyer and sent us home with our very own breathing machine. He told us to use the machine two times a day and then use the inhaler on top of that. So off we went and did as he said. We hung out with some friends on Friday night and toward the end of our night started noticing that his breathing was getting worse. We went straight home and did another breathing treatment, used his inhaler and put him to bed b/c he was so exhausted. I put him in bed feeling apprehensive and a little paranoid but I felt like since he fell straight asleep he must be okay.
I hit the sack and a couple hours later Andrew wakes me up b/c he hears Sawyer making wierd fussing noises. We go in and he is SERIOUSLY struggling. I immediately went into panic mode. He was struggling so much he couldn't even cry. We immediately started the breathing treatment... 10 minutes later no progress.. We did the inhaler.. 2 minutes later no progress... We start another breathing treatment... 15 minutes later Worse... Called the hospital and they said bring him in immediately.
So there I was at 1:00 in the morning feeling so scared, so helpless and so frantic. We packed a small bag and off we went. The E.R. was packed and it was a miserable place to be last night. They rushed us back pretty fast but b/c of the lack of doctors it took them over 4 hours to give us any help. Andrew and I at this point were so fed up, so scared and so MAD! Finally they came in around 6:30 this morning gave him a 1 1/2 hour breathing treatment where he screamed the entire time and then sent him straight to X RAY which was extremely traumatizing for him and us. After all of that and no sleep at all it was about 8:00 and they come in and say that he needs to be admitted because his breathing wasn't getting any better.
So here we are 1 asthma attack, 1 IV, 1 scary x ray, 15 breathing treatments, 1000 milligrams of steroids and many tears later and trying to calm down and trust God. I have gained so much perspective from this last 24 hours and have truly been at some very low lows and now am sitting here crying out in joy that I have a beautiful, sweet perfect boy that is sleeping and for the most part he is healthy. Nothing life threatening.. Nothing compared to what so many people have gone through with their kids or are going through with their kids. We are so lucky and so blessed that this is what we have to deal with. God is going to use this and He already has. Even though Asthma may be a part of our lives in a significant or hopefully not too significant way we hope that through it all we will learn to give it up to God and draw closer to Him through our fear.
Now for the latest, we are just waiting to hear from the nurses and doctors the word, "improvement!". So far we haven't heard a whole lot of new information other than we will probably be here a couple of days continuing treatments until we hear this asthma break up. His little chest is still so tight and he still is very wheezy. So we will wait patiently and pray that tomorrow morning we will wake up to clear breathing. As for now he will be sleeping with me in a tiny little bed and we will wake up every couple hours to receive more treatments. We are praying for some rest because we haven't slept in over 24 hours now (including Sawyer). The steroids make him very WIRED which is frustrating because his little body is so tired and he can't figure out what to do with his energy. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for this night ahead of us.
Thank you for all the texts, facebook messages and calls. We are truly doing fine and are so thankful that our precious Sawyer Bear is doing better and is in good care. I'll keep ya'll posted over the next couple days.
Here is a recap in pics of our last 24 hours...
waiting with a sick sick boy...
this is how we've spent most of the day... Breathing treatments galore
Things started looking up when he got to eat some pie. What Sawyer wants Sawyer gets while he's in the hospital!
He has been on a million wagon rides today! He loves it and it relaxes him, which is a good thing right now.