So it's been a month since Sawyer's Asthma scare and he is doing so good. He is officially off steroids and we are continuing all his meds like planned and it seems to be doing the trick for now. The thing about asthma is that he can be totally great and then one trigger, one spout of a runny nose or one afternoon he runs around too much can bring on an attack in the blink of an eye.
So this brings me to where I am today.... I have always been a control freak, I have always worried about preventing sickness in our family and protecting Sawyer and one thing I am dealing with is this realization that I don't have control at all! I have always known deep down that God is in control but my stubborn human nature still tries to control everything around me. God gave me this precious son that I am responsible for and I am just trying to figure out this balance of trying to protect him and simply giving it to God. Obviously Sawyer needs protection from many things now and I will always try and keep him away from his asthma triggers but there is also this deep sense of worry that I always feel about everything.... "Is he running to much?, "Did he just cough?", "Is that a wheeze I just heard?", "if we go to nursery at church will he catch a cold?", "are there dogs at that house we have to go to?", etc. etc.... Bottom line, GOD IS IN CONTROL! Technically I know that more than ever because what we have been through but I still am struggling with this constant worry. I know God is using this to mold and shape me into who He wants me to become in Him and that part excites me that I see Him working ("My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." 2 Cor 12:9) but it still gets so frustrating trying to figure out the balance.
Anyway, just wanted to document this process I am going through. I am thankful for God's power in weakness and I am also so thankful that GOD is in CONTROL! How terrible if it was up to us all the time!
We go to the allergist on Tuesday which we have been waiting to do and have had to reschedule twice due to weather. We are so ready for more answers and to see what else this baby is allergic to and what are steps will be in the future. I would appreciate prayers for this appointment, it is a 2 1/2 hour appointment with 2 consults and two sets of test (scratch test and blood work). Should be interesting with a two year old. Sawyer's a champ though and I know he will do great.